I Swore I'd NEVER Be a Stay at Home Mom

Isn't it funny how when you're young you just have things all planned out?! I always heard if you wanted to hear God laugh, tell him your plan. Well, that's exactly what happened. I had my life all planned out, I knew exactly what kind of husband I wanted, how many kids we were going to have, what career I was working towards, etc. And then God laughed...like,  REALLY loud!

Let's start with my husband of almost 9 years whom I love dearly. I could not see doing life with anyone else. However, my husband is not the romantic, sweep you off your feet, cater to your every need, type of man like I had envisioned my future husband to be...Thanks Hollywood! Instead, he is hard working, he pushes me to be the best version of myself, he teaches me how to do things for myself, and while he is not a hopeless romantic it makes the times that he is a lot more special to me! I know that my husband loves me and he works hard to provide for our family to give me the opportunity to be home with our daughter. Which brings me to my next point, my daughter.

My daughter is beautiful, spirited, and she knows exactly what she does AND doesn't want. She entered in to this world, after 2 and a half hours of pushing, a lifeless little body. Luckily, the doctor and nurses were able to resuscitate her and she has been strong and fierce ever since. On the days that she pushes me to my limits, I thank God that she is here to do so! However, the thought of having another baby scares me and almost sends me in to a panic. Ignorance is bliss, and after having my daughter and knowing what we went through during her delivery, it's very hard for me consider going through it again for fear of what "could" happen. My plan throughout my entire pregnancy was to go back to work after my daughter was born...but how do you leave that tiny little person you grew and fought so hard for???? I SWORE in my early 20's that I would NEVER be a stay at home mom....and here I am!

I left a job as an Office Manager for a growing restoration company to stay home with my daughter. We didn't know how we were going to do it, but my husband and I could not bare the thought of her in a daycare. After around 5 weeks of maternity leave, I called my boss and resigned by position. This was never my intent. I had held a job since I was 14 and during college I worked THREE...I always envisioned myself as a working mom, just like I was raised by one. But God had other plans for me. Since being at home, I have started keeping kids in my home. One little boy that I kept for 2 years became one of my daughter's best friends and we are so lucky to have been introduced to him and his amazing family! We love them all so much! Now, I am keeping my twin nephews who are around a year and half. They were born 10 weeks early and came home on heart monitors after 8 weeks in the NICU. I have been keeping them since they were 12 weeks old and I have enjoyed watching them grow and progress. However, dealing with three kids for over 12 hours a day, five days a week, I'm definitely NOT thinking about adding anymore kids right now!

I never understood it. I never knew why anyone would WANT to be a stay at home parent. How they could be OK with "not contributing" to their family. What do they do all day? I just didn't get it...and that's exactly it, I didn't get it until I became a parent. Once you become a parent, you understand what it means to truly love someone MORE than you love yourself! This little life needs you and while it drains your entire stock of energy and emotions, it fills your heart to the point of overflowing. It's something that you can't fully understand, until you have it, right there in your arms. I work harder now than I EVER have at any point in my life. Even harder than working 3 jobs at once. I contribute so much that money cannot buy and that no one else but me could give/do for my family. I would often get a little embarrassed when I see people that I haven't seen in a while and they ask me that dreaded question, "So, where are you working now?" But now, I'm not embarrassed, I'm proud of the sacrifices that my husband and I have made so that I can be home with my daughter. It's hard, but it's SO worth it!

The past three years have been some of the best years of my life and in my marriage. I'm actually able to enjoy life. So what, I only get to buy myself new clothes every 6 months, or I MIGHT get my hair done once a year. I don't need those things to be happy. There are A LOT of things I want, but I don't NEED any of them. What I DO need is to be with my daughter and my husband, show my daughter how to follow her heart and show her that THINGS are replaceable and people ARE NOT. I will never look back and think, "WOW, I spent way too much time with my kid!" Instead, I will have so many dear memories to share with her as she gets older and to hopefully be able to share with her children one day. I am so grateful for the opportunity that God has blessed me with and the relationships that I have been able to develop and grow along the way. I am proud to be the SAHM I swore I'd never be!